St. Valentine and the Institution of Marriage

“If you love her so much, why don’t you marry her?”

Such was the teasing phrase I frequently heard as a child, with that joking, sarcastic, nasal tone. What’s funny is that the frequency of this phrase’s use dropped dramatically once my peers and I approached puberty and actually started to better enjoy the company members of the opposite gender. Before that time this phrase mostly referred to toys, sports teams, video games, and other things that a kid like me might “love” but can’t ever marry. The thought of a child one day walking down the aisle with, for example, a Power Wheels car was a humorous image to share with many.

I have to give this phrase some credit, though, at least. Marriage is seen as the logical follow-up to falling in love. Not anything else.

It’s sad how separate the two ideas seem sometimes today.

Valentine’s Day can add itself to a list of holidays whose original event has been watered down by tradition and commerce.  The history of the holiday is a mess to figure out how we went from Christian martyrdoms in Rome to Brach’s and roses, where Cupid flew in, etc. We didn’t really start passing out cards until the past century or so. I just find it fascinating that Valentine’s Day (Valentine is a common name for Christian martyrs in ancient Rome) is named for a martyr whose crime against Rome was marrying Christians (as aiding Christians was illegal).

In an ancient Vegas, Christians were hunted and sent to dangerous animals. Despite the corrupt and vicious government, they insisted on declaring their love for each other, before the eyes of God, with a covenant. A commitment. An investment. A risk. A sacrifice. A giving. Christians certainly believed in the sanctity and institution of marriage, and lived it, even if only quietly and illegally. If loving marriage was wrong, baby, they didn’t want to be right. 

Times certainly have changed.

As we celebrate Valentine’s Day, let’s think about how we can honor the sanctity of marriage, husband to wife and wife to husband, living it from the inside out.